Posted by Jamie Buckland on Monday, February 28, 2011
Why would I spare you the details? Do I ever spare you details? Some of you would probably rather I spare you details at some points in time, but let's face it, I'm not a sparer of details. I'm a giver. You can thank me later.
I've been feeling extra yucky the last few days. An almost certain bout with the flu, I was achy, coughing, more nauseous than regular morning sickness, and just not a happy camper. Yesterday afternoon, I began to feel better. I got dressed and went outside for a walk with the family, discovered a various assortment of worms with Emma, shot basketball with Ethan, got out of breath way quicker than I have in 2 years, and then paid for it around 9 last night when I shuffled my aching bones into bed.
I dreaded today. With every fiber of my empty shell...I had nothing to give to a Monday. In a make-shift prayer, barely more than a thought, I asked the Lord, "Just let me make it through without relying on TV for entertainment, without relying on a nap for survival, and without harsh words to my dependent family."
My dear friends, God is still in the business of answerin' prayers in case you'uns ain't been in a revival in a while!
At 3:30 this morning, I was so uncomfortable in bed, I just couldn't wait to get up.
I battled it, and forced myself to rest a few more hours.
At 6:30, I couldn't take it anymore. My cough was annoying to me, much less to the hubs still trying to catch a few more moments of much-deserved sleep before a long day of providing. So I made my way out of bed, stumbled across the children camped out in my floor, their 15 blankets and their 42 pillows, and headed into the kitchen where a mound of dirty dishes had been patiently waiting on me since Friday. Yes, that is a true statement, dishes that were actually dirtied on Thursday, that I neatly stacked up Friday morning, were still sitting by my sink.
I started a pot of coffee, 1 of 3 pots that I've made in the last 5 weeks. I did the dishes. I wiped down the kitchen, cleaned out the microwave, and did all of this while hacking my head off.
I decided a sinus rinse was a good idea, and it was. I made my cup of yumminess and peered outside at the birdfeeder we hung up yesterday full of sunflower goodness.
I grabbed a blanket, and headed to the front porch.
Thoughts of doubt have emptied me over the last few days. Hurt feelings, anger, questions unanswered, and a great deal of pride, have kept my mind from any renewing. I'm sure the self-pity for my ailing body didn't help either...
But as I nestled into my blanket, it was just beautiful, and peaceful...God was speaking to my emptiness, and then, He started to fill.
As I watched a black-capped chickadee prance up to take a sunflower, I felt so overwhelmed. His promises started to swirl around in the emptiness. I watched the trees swaying in the strong, loud winds. They are so solid at the bottom, at that strong trunk, and oh the back and forth of the tall lonely branches. "Keep me close, Lord." I began to pray,"I don't want to be a lonely branch so affected by it's environment. I need your strength, your foundation, I need you to be my focus so I'm not left to flail helplessly in the worries of the world"
God began to open my eyes to his goodness about me, and the day that I had dreaded, began to be the day I couldn't be more thankful for.
I awoke the children. We strung popcorn and lathered the strings with peanut butter. We nestled into the couch and watched more chickadees come to their feast. We made plans for today, good plans, none of which involved TV or naps. And so far, we've stuck to them.
We headed to the kitchen to fix breakfast. We cleaned fruit together for the fruit salad, and chopped veggies together for these Mini Ham and Egg Cups. We took our full plates outside to the porch. The storm began to find it's way to our home, and the sky wasn't the blue it had been just a few hours ago. We heard the rain approaching, and then Emma says, "I'll never forget this day." "Neither will I, Emma Rae, neither will I." I'm crying now folks.
Now, for those of you wondering, the kids have went from reading on into math..almost done.
It's just after 12, and we're preparing to have lunch, then to clean floors equipped with microfiber towels rubberbanned around our feet and armed with spray bottles of floor cleaner.
School will be finished a little while after that, and it will be time for me to start finally reading them a book a friend has loaned us.
Now - one more thing...an article that was in a newsletter I opened up that encouraged me to actually write this post. I needed to hear these words today. And God was faithful in providing them. This was written almost 5 years ago! Yet, was powerful and was healing for me today. I pray it is the same for you.
I'm outta here...we have floors to clean, and my kids can't wait!
blog comments powered by Disqus